there are only three things that I love dearly. First I love tea, to be precise lemon tea.Second I love music. I kinda listen to everything but my playlist  is either too hood or  too sexual or totally depressing, and then I love udaku!Meeeeen I love eavesdropping ,I love poking my pierced nose in peoples’ businesses . The other day I am in a matatu headed home. The lady seated behind is lamenting on phone how her baby has refused to suckle. I wait for her to hang up and I turn to ‘console’ her. I narrate how my neighbor’s baby had the same problem and how we finally found out that the baby had been bewitched. I offer her an exorcist’s phone number who can help her baby get better and my friends that is how nlishukishwa kwa highway. I got home three years later.

Sasa last Friday afternoon I am with my smokie guy talking about nothing in particular as he packs for me three-take-away smokies why do I eat so much though. 😂😂😂A lovely mama makes her way to me smiling and pointing at me.
“Look who is here” she says as she opens her arms for a hug .I am startled because I don’t know who is here.
“How is life Belinda?” she adds.  .I lie that life is superb and I go on and insist how The Lord has been faithful to me. The last part is obviously ignored; she does not seem to be the kind that cares about the faithfulness of the Lord.

I really want to confess how my life is all about updating my meme calendar and how I am on 50 shades of eating three packets of Indomie for breakfast every morning but I still lie. Miss stranger is now up is questions, she first asks if I still talk to my high school boyfriend Wes. I giggle a lil ,I cant remember having a boyfriend back then, I mean I used to look like a boyfriend myself but I gotta flow with this story.”Wes is now a member of Alqaeda ” I shake my head and hold my chin “I miss him …he calls me sometimes though ”I lie again. This is becoming a talent.😂
She goes on to tell me how Maria the matron slid outside the dining hall breaking her hip and how she’s been in a wheel chair since then, how Mustafa our cook stole the school aerial and how the are no more entertainment weekends. I am faking emotions all this time repeatedly whispering “Whaaaaat nooooo” as I shake my head. Mr. Korir the deputy lost his mind too and is a mental case ;“That guy has always looked and acted crazy ,you know” I say regrettably .
She says she  can see we have a lot to catch on and of course I agree ,I want to know about the watchman and the bursar and the dorm captains and the head girl ,hell yeah I want to know about “our” brother school . She asks me for my number so she can add me to “our” whatsapp group. I watch as she saves it as ‘Belinda Kagwiria’ and I say nothing fam, I say nothing. She offers to pay for my smokies hugs me;
“It was nice to bump into you Belinda”
“same over here generous stranger “
By the time I get home I have been added to ‘Our Lady Of Fatma class of 2006’. Father Lord! I went to AIC Kathonzweni mixed day school warrathese???! Everyone is welcoming and they are all telling me how much they have missed me.

People, I cant seem to excel at anything ,first I ate my( Holyspirit’s) fruit  of patience, I sleep through all my alarms ,and then I get dumped for my voice  and just the other day I tried petting a stray cat but she moved to my neighbor’s house now she has even been named Sophy .*real tears*😢😢 .Just lemme excel at gathering Intel.

 

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