you left a scar on me that wouldn’t fade. You took my sanity and now I am nowhere near getting it back. I was lost for so long that when i did try to find myself back, I couldn’t remember who i was before i got lost. We have got to change our ethics and our financial system and our whole way of understanding the world. You were my light at the end of the tunnel but now you’re my darkness that surrounds me,slowly eating my being.
It’s a year now since we last saw each other, yet I still see you clearly when i close my eyes. You haunt my dreams and even my waking soul. I walk the face of the earth pretending that i have forgotten you but in reality I’ve always kept you in a box, I tried to keep it locked, but you always found your way to keep it open.
I do not miss you. I do not wish to see you again, but i still feel the pain you have inflicted on me. I cannot forget how much pain you caused. The pain you caused was so grave I was on the verge of ending it all. You kept hurting me everyday, everyday for a year. My willingness to live slowly went away, thinking everyday if its okay to be awake. The pain became greater than me.
I could not bear it, nor could i leave. It took a lot of courage to stand up again. It took alot of effort to rebuild myself. I aimed to build it high and strong. Higher and higher I grew, but the crack, you could still see it through. I did not build it well; I was in a hurry to put myself back that i did not see what it lacked. The base was so frail that it collapsed the moment I tried to step back in.
Son here I am again, building the same old pile of blocks, trying to soften out the cracks. Two years with you was one of the best and most painful part of my life. I wish to forget. I wish to not feel, yet this beating heart just won’t let me be.
We spoke once more, when i called. You were fine and happy with her. I wish i could say the same for me. Twelve months I have been rebuilding myself, yet it falls every time i remember the pain. I’m tired of hurting the only other person who is trying to fix me. You did this to me. You were the love of my life, but clearly, I wasn’t yours.