A somber mood engulfed the atmosphere as I sat quietly staring into space. I was lost, I couldn’t recollect everything together. I couldn’t hear anything else apart from the pounding of my heart in quick succession. I looked around, his mother was sobbing, I really don’t know how it feels to lose one’s son but I do know how it feels to lose one’s lover.
I got the call from his brother Bob – whom we had to take a break until I got to think straight (of course I didn’t give him reasons) “Hey, we were involved in an accident and Cleon is gone.” Just like that, nothing more nothing less. How could he say it that plainly? What an insensitive bastard. Yeah sure he didn’t know Cleon and I had a thing, but hey he did know we were close. I’d slapped the hell out of him immediately I got to his place and he shook it off like the asshole that he is.
In between the melancholic atmosphere, haunting thoughts flash through my mind in bits like trailers of movies. And as the events unravel I watch them like a ghost. My lips tremble at the possibility of us interlocking. We were so close and the awkward silence added in pressure, I felt his warm breathe on my neck as he planted kisses on me. No this is my house so we’ll play by my rules. I push him on the bed as I strip off then unbuckled his belt brushing my fingers on it squeezing it and it is damn hard, he groans to which I feel triumphant. But he wasn’t one to give up easily, tossing me so that our groins touch.
He circles my nipple with his tongue, did I say his fingers could work magic down my needy part which was now burning with desire to have him in me. Well, seems I lied cause his fingers got nothing on this tongue! So I cloax a minute after he takes his tongue there, “Bitch you selfish, you can’t even hold it for five minutes,” he says with a dimpled smile, boy this person was beautiful. My body trembles at this remembered romance and desire.
This was a male version of me and of course a better version, the updated version. Forget about finishing each other’s sentences; that doesn’t count. We all liked and hated the same things and the fact that both of us were hypersexual and erotic minds. Two souls got intertwined and now one in despair. It’s only a week since he left and am already a blurry image of me. He once said I distract him but am distracted without him. Am haunted by the fact that I couldn’t let him have me completely as much as he insisted, he was all I needed but the timing was just so wrong. My heart aches, my eyes are sore, tongue bitter and my legs numb. I need him more than I need my own breathe. Too late though. So what happens to our dirty and nasty secrets? And am left to carry this burden alone. They say am in the denial stage, what happens in the next?
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